“We lost 4–5 on the pitch but won the night?” If you’ve just joined MAN v FAT Football, or you’ve seen our results and scratched your head, this one’s for you. Here’s how scoring works in the MAN v FAT Aintree league, and why the scales matter just as much as your shooting.
The big idea: two halves to every score
Every MAN v FAT match is decided in two places:
- On the pitch: a normal game of 5-a-side.
- On the scales: every player weighs in before kick-off, and the weight your team loses turns into goals.
Add the two together (plus a bit for tracking, which we’ll come to) and you get the overall score. That’s the result that goes in the league table.
Pitch goals
The simple part. You play a short game of 5-a-side against another Aintree team, and every goal scored counts, like any other league.
Scales goals
This is what makes MAN v FAT different. Each week, every player weighs in privately with the coach before kick-off. Your weight is compared with the week before and with your weight at the start of the season.
- Lose weight and you score for your team. Under MAN v FAT’s rules, a qualifying loss is one where you’re lighter than last week and lighter than when the season started.
- Put weight on and it can cost your team. On the league panel, gains show up as own goals.
- Team bonuses. The scales score isn’t only individual: teams can earn extra for their combined weight loss, and for hat-tricks of good weeks over the season.
Milestones: the big bonuses
Every time a player loses another 5% of his starting weight, he hits a milestone, earns a certificate and picks up bonus goals for his team. MAN v FAT’s rules say each 5% milestone is worth a one-off bonus on top of that week’s other scores, and reaching a healthy BMI (the “BMI Boss” milestone) earns one too. You’ll see these celebrated on our socials and in the gallery.
Tracking
Log your food in any food tracking app during the week and your team picks up tracking points. It’s the simplest way to help your side, and it’s one of the most useful habits for losing weight anyway.
Putting it together: a real example
Here’s a real result from Week 4 of Season 9:
| Mayo Madrid | Borussia Munching Big Macs | |
|---|---|---|
| Pitch | 2 | 12 |
| Scales | 2 | 0 |
| Tracking | 2 | 1 |
| Overall | 6 | 13 |
Borussia Munching Big Macs won comfortably on the pitch, but Mayo Madrid won the scales.
A week later it went the other way. Eintracht Fatburn and Mayo Madrid drew 4–4 on the pitch, but Mayo won the scales 2–1 and took the night 7–6. The football was level; the weigh-in decided it. A team that loses the football by a goal or two can easily win the whole thing at the scales. That’s the beauty of it: the lad who’s never scored a goal in his life can win the match for his team.
Points and tables
The overall score decides the result, and results earn league points: 2 for a win and 1 for a draw.
We keep three league tables on the site:
- Overall: the main league table, based on the overall scores.
- Pitch: the football only, as if the scales didn’t exist.
- Scales: the weight loss only.
Looking at all three side by side is half the fun. A team can be top of the pitch table and bottom of the scales, and the overall table shows who’s getting the balance right. You’ll find all three on the Season 9 page, with every score and breakdown on the results page.
The League Cup
Alongside the league, there’s a League Cup: a group where only the overall score counts, with the top two going through to the final. The winners join the league champions, the scales and pitch winners and the rest on the roll of honour.
Why it’s scored like this
Because it works. If the football were all that counted, the best players would carry the team and nobody would need to change anything. Making the scales count just as much means every player matters every week, whether he’s a striker or hasn’t kicked a ball in twenty years. Your team wants you to lose weight, and you don’t want to let them down. That bit of friendly pressure is often what keeps people going when motivation dips.
Fancy getting on the scoresheet?
The easiest way to understand it is to play. Read what happens on your first night, then sign up and choose Aintree. If you want a head start, our guides to protein and fibre will help you put your first scales goals on the board.
